Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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