I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
