You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
