I'm so fucking centered right now
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Girls should come with a carfax report
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
