They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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