i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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