If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
