Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
