i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
pray to the hookup gods
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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