So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
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I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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