I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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