Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize