last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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