Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
