he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize