you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
