thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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