Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize