He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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