He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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