well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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