just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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