Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.