Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??