Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants