My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
bring money and cleavage
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.