Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.