worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am