There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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