she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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