you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
