I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Even my vagina gasped.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
