It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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How did I end up in the pool?!
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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