dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
