you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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