everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
