I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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