this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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