I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.