I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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