Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(928): View more from Arizona

Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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(+35): View more from

I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act

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(281): View more from Texas

NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

It's a short, short story.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.

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(415): View more from California

I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.

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