Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

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(503): can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone? http://tfl.nu/oqh6

Replies (33) Good night (842) Bad night (13104)
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(904): View more from Florida

i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall

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(904): i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall http://tfl.nu/fpdq

Replies (36) Good night (8297) Bad night (883)
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(519): View more from Ontario

We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on

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(519): We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on http://tfl.nu/80ye

Replies (12) Good night (3703) Bad night (1873)
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(716): View more from New York

she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

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(716): she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives. http://tfl.nu/3y3d

Replies (9) Good night (1253) Bad night (5014)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed

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(256): Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed http://tfl.nu/b65f

Replies (5) Good night (2638) Bad night (1204)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.

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(843): Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots. http://tfl.nu/fa6e

Replies (1) Good night (1960) Bad night (865)
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(206): View more from Washington

In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone

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(206): In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone http://tfl.nu/jkow

Replies (5) Good night (1826) Bad night (1389)
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(951): View more from California

My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room

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(951): My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room http://tfl.nu/wnm7

Replies (26) Good night (4570) Bad night (1206)
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(586): View more from Michigan

My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.

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(586): My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage. http://tfl.nu/u2i7

Replies (5) Good night (2512) Bad night (497)
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(714): View more from California

A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.

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(714): A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now. http://tfl.nu/19el

Replies (8) Good night (1507) Bad night (782)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.

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(520): Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks. http://tfl.nu/j1xw

Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (892)
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(607): View more from New York

Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

(315): View more from New York

I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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(607): Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care (315): I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt. http://tfl.nu/8ucq

Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (603)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.

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(+44): You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/zp27

Replies (6) Good night (440) Bad night (1441)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.

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(506): Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home. http://tfl.nu/evwu

Replies (9) Good night (735) Bad night (345)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?

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(320): how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back? http://tfl.nu/ycg3

Replies (13) Good night (924) Bad night (253)

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