Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

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  (540): you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level. http://tfl.nu/ek4x
  Replies (2) Good night (1678) Bad night (526)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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  (910): is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise. http://tfl.nu/ewvs
  Replies (40) Good night (2212) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  That's okay, it's all protein anyway.

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  (302): Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!? (1-302): That's okay, it's all protein anyway. http://tfl.nu/dhny
  Replies (68) Good night (3728) Bad night (896)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing

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  (774): i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing http://tfl.nu/cwrn
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (4043)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.

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  (832): I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week. http://tfl.nu/ubxf
  Replies (69) Good night (715) Bad night (4801)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me

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  (402): your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me http://tfl.nu/38h8
  Replies (28) Good night (7448) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.

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  (661): I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle. http://tfl.nu/l8mr
  Replies (16) Good night (4857) Bad night (1119)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old

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  (401): His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/b9xq
  Replies (35) Good night (8584) Bad night (1493)
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  (209): View more from California

  I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.

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  (209): I don't think child baring hips is a compliment. http://tfl.nu/0err
  Replies (29) Good night (1419) Bad night (2753)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why is there bacon braided in my hair

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  (303): Why is there bacon braided in my hair http://tfl.nu/324s
  Replies (15) Good night (3401) Bad night (992)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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  (231): I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/yxdj
  Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.

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  (559): I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface. http://tfl.nu/l63d
  Replies (6) Good night (1351) Bad night (739)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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  (785): And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week. http://tfl.nu/s5eh
  Replies (10) Good night (745) Bad night (1978)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

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  (941): Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs http://tfl.nu/r0oh
  Replies (13) Good night (2866) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.

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  (734): This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving. http://tfl.nu/sgt2
  Replies (4) Good night (366) Bad night (475)

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