After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
