I love black thongs
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
