hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
