Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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