I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
