I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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