I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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