I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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