I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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