so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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