This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.