Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
don't judge my taste in strippers
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.