i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him