Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.