yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What a dumb baby whore.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring