You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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