You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
