yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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